First, since nothing I purchased dislodged it, I ended up having to make a trip to the dentist, which is even more embarrassing than it sounds, who dislodged it and gave me a referral to my lovely orthodontist and charged a steep price for the privilege. That was what finally pushed me over the edge and talked me into braces. It wasn’t the headaches, the bite issues or even my teeth wearing down at an alarming rate because of said bite issues, it was the nightmare of getting floss stuck between my crowded teeth again. He’d been telling me for years “you really need to think about this” but both cost issues and just the idea of “braces, at MY age?” kept me away. This, however, was enough. I never wanted to deal with that again!

Most importantly, second, I bought a WaterPik. It was beyond useless in dislodging the floss, but I started using it regularly before I got my braces on and now post braces installation I can’t even express how awesome it is. If you don’t have one, get one. It doesn’t need to be that specific brand, it doesn’t need to be fancy, just trust me on this. Nothing I’ve tried has worked better to get stuff dislodged from my brackets, not even my toothbrush or an interproximal brush. It’s utterly useless at dislodging floss from between your teeth, but to serve its actual purpose? Priceless.

I’ve since upgraded to a somewhat fancier model than my original, cheapest portable model and I’m planning on taking pictures and posting a review of both in the next day or two, in case anyone is curious.

The application of the braces wasn’t painful. It was uncomfortable–you’re basically sitting there for a couple of hours with an awkward cheek spreader keeping your mouth open, with a suction device attached to your tongue keeping your mouth as dry as possible, fun! It isn’t a recipe for comfort, but it also isn’t a recipe for misery. However, because I was having lingual braces applied to the top arch I got a little something extra, a little something beyond the regular installation process.

I got to have my teeth micro-etched, to rough up the surface and make them suitable for slapping on those fancy golden brackets. This involved about 20 minutes of them sandblasting my teeth, sending the aforementioned tooth dust everywhere. I do mean everywhere. Once they were done I was white as a ghost because my face was covered in dust. I was choking from breathing it in, my shirt was covered, my hair was coated in teeny tiny particles of my teeth. Just the concept is horrifying. The teeth didn’t feel noticeably different, they weren’t smaller, they weren’t even really rougher. Where did all that dust come from?

It took hours of scrubbing before I felt like it was out of my hair; I may still need to burn those clothes. If you’ve ever sanded anything that produces super fine particles you might know what I’m talking about, now imagine that being…your teeth. The horror! If they’d have warned me about the dust I might have opted against the lingual braces. The speech problems, bah! A little extra poking to my tongue, who cares? Being covered in tooth dust while having them put on, dream haunting.

To those contemplating getting braces, really they aren’t that bad. I’m sure it’ll be worth it in the end. It’s not some delusion forced upon me by the orthodontic industry. I think. I hope.

Oh, and silicone wax is far better than standard wax, but it takes 3 times as long to put on, so get both.

[note, this was originally published at BoredNow.org]