I thought the brackets going on and the first wire being fitted hurt, but that was nothing; the open coil spring sure packs a punch. I’m currently on hour 31 with no sleep purely because of the agony going on in my mouth. I’m fairly certain that in addition to the spring they managed to sneak a pack of gremlins into my mouth who are currently attempting to pry some of my teeth out with pliers. The pressure is unimaginable. I was worried that the spring would annoy my tongue, but I honestly haven’t even noticed, I’ve been too distracted by the agony going on in my teeth.

This tooth had better shift fast and I truly hope the rest of my teeth adjust to the pressure soon, I don’t know what I’ll do if I go another night without sleep. My joking about gremlins might transform into actual hallucinations by that point.

If you’d asked me a few weeks ago what the word wax meant to me I probably would have said something about making my car shiny and protecting the paint. Now though, now I could ramble off an ode to wax. I could give you a 1,000 page essay comparing and contrasting the properties of standard dental wax and silicone wax. I could rant and rave about the percentage of my day that’s now spent putting on and taking off wax. It’s my friend, my blessing and my tormentor. I wonder if it’s an addiction, if I could stop putting it on, would I adjust to the agony of braces faster? Or is the application of it all that’s keeping me from pulling out the pliers and ripping these things off myself?

To those contemplating getting braces, really they aren’t that bad. I’m sure it’ll be worth it in the end. It’s not some delusion forced upon me by the orthodontic industry. I think. I hope.

Oh, and silicone wax is far better than standard wax, but it takes 3 times as long to put on, so get both.

[note, this was originally published at BoredNow.org]